You're a Preemie Parent. Now what?

Written by: Elissa Lauber on June 28, 2023

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First of all, welcome! And, most importantly, congratulations on your new baby or babies. Regardless of what the future holds for you and your baby/babies, please know that I am genuinely happy for you and the new life or lives you've created. You've done an amazing job.

If you're anything like me, you're probably feeling a heap of things simultaneously. You may be excited your baby has been born, scared your baby has been born early, relieved you or your partner are no longer pregnant, angry you or your partner did not get to carry your baby to term. Maybe you're feeling all of this, or maybe you're not feeling anything at all. Whatever your experience, it is valid. Your experience is real, and it matters. You matter. Your partner matters. The baby or babies you've created matter, too.

Why did I create this blog?

I remember feeling overwhelmed, unprepared, and alone when my twins were in the NICU in 2019. Despite having a supportive husband and social network around me, I was afraid. I was exhausted emotionally and physically. At times I wanted to shout to everyone (and perhaps I did) how life-changing having premature twins was for me. At other times I didn't want to share with friends and family how fearful, sad, and angry I was because I was one of the lucky preemie parents who eventually took both of her babies home. I struggled to balance and honor my feelings of hurt, disappointment, and anger with my gratitude. I would vacillate between feeling a lot and feeling nothing at all.

Now, 4 years later I want to help others. My primary goal is to make it easier for preemie parents to find resources, support, etc.

What will I share here?

For now I plan to share resources related to pumping breast milk, becoming a milk donor, oxygen-dependence, early intervention for the preemie, navigating specialists for your preemie(s), therapy for the preemie parent(s), communities I've found to be helpful, etc.

In the future, I think it'd be great to include others' experiences. I'd love to interview my mom, for example, who lived with me in the hospital for the weeks before I delivered my twins prematurely. I'd also love to get my husband's perspective on how he navigated the time we spent in the hospital. Additionally, I'd like to share links to products, apps, etc. that I found useful in the beginning. Perhaps in the future I'll write the children's book I have in my head. Maybe I'll start a podcast. I have no shortage of ideas, so stay tuned.

Picture of my twins in the NICU near the end of our stay in April 2019. Unfortunately, I didn't get to do the maternity photos I had planned, but the photographer instead did a NICU photoshoot. I cherish these photos!